Thank you everyone for coming to the candle lighting for Ezra

It was really nice to see everyone last month for Ezra's 1st heaven anniversary. We were delighted to have over 150 friends crowd into our home to share pink cupcakes and pink lemonade in Ezra's honor. The candles were beautiful and lit up Ezra's shrine, casting a beautiful glow over the photos and hundreds of origami cranes that still decorate our porch.

It was wonderful to here the stories of how Ezra has changed the lives of so many people - both young and old. We found that many people thought that that day would be so hard for us, but in reality, that day was not as hard as most, because so many of our loved ones were gathered around and talking about Ezra. We love to talk about Ezra. Unfortunately when someone dies, many avoid talking about that person or even saying the person's name for fear of causing pain. Ironically our pain comes from not hearing Ezra's name.

As you can imagine, this has been a really hard year for us. The one year anniversary was an important marker for us and one we wanted to share. At Ezra's candle lighting there was a very interesting conversation going on about how other cultures mark the death of a loved one, yet in our culture there is no set way to do this.

In our grief therapy group - with other parents of children who died last year, we were able to hear what a few other families had done to mark this important day and we got some ideas from them. We are so greatful to Seattle Children's Hospital for creating these grieving groups, this allows us to come together with others who are on the same path as we are and we appreciate their comfort, wisdom, support, and friendship and especially just being able to share our honest feelings about grieving with others who completely understand.

One common misconception that many have about losing a child is that after the first year of loss, things begin to get easier. This is quite simply just not true at all. Most of the first year is spent in shock and as you come out of the shock you are actually in a very painful place, often even more painful than the first year. Also, we face many side effects from grief, sort of like post traumatic stress - problems staying focused on things, problems remembering things, problems getting things done. Everyday simple tasks are hard for us to accomplish. And so we find that time has not made Ezra's death easier for any of us, but the love, friendship, and support of our friends continues to warm our hearts and helps to give us courage to face each new day.

Thank you for being Ezra's friends and ours too. We are thankful to have you in our lives. Thank you for sharing Ezra's first Heaven anniversary with us.

Friends of Ezra - Light a Candle & Open House

Friday, February 5, 2010 is the one year anniversary of Ezra going to heaven.

We invite all who would like to join us to come by our home on

Saturday February 6

from 6:30 - 8:30pm.

You are welcome to come and light a candle in Ezra's memory. Bring your own or we will have some here as well. Also, we will have an open house during this time and you are welcome and encouraged to come in and visit or if you would prefer to leave your candle at Ezra's shrine on our porch and not come in, that is fine too.

Kids are welcome, adults are welcome, we hope you can join us. If you are so inclined, we would love a note or letter that expresses how your life has been touched by Ezra's life, we will keep them for a book.

If you are far away, feel free to light a candle in your home for Ezra and if you want to write something on the blog, that would be lovely as well.

On Friday, February 5, kids and teachers at McGilvra Elementary will wear PINK in memory of Ezra - thank you amazing teacher friends for organizing this lovely tribute.

Yoga Fundraiser for Team Ezra! 3/7/10 NEW DATE!!

Open Your Heart Yoga Workshop

led by the super talented Ann Henrie

at Lotus Yoga in Columbia City

Sunday March 7

1 - 2:30 pm

All levels are welcome! Kids are welcome! Please come! That's a personal invitation from Ezra's mom. Ann is generously donating her time and Lotus Yoga is generously donating their yoga studio - located at 4860 Rainier Avenue South #D (upstairs). Seattle, WA 98118

All proceeds benefit the LLS - Leukemia and Lymphoma Society - donations will go to TEAM EZRA!

Ann is an awesome teacher and this is a great fundraising opportunity for Team Ezra! Donations can be earmarked for any team member or for the team in general. Please come, did I say that already?? We are hoping for a great turnout. You won't be disappointed, the studio is lovely, Ann is great, and you will truly feel that your heart has been opened. What more can I say? See you there! Kandice, Ryan, Luka, and Milo.

The Big Climb Sunday, March 21, 2010 In Memory of Ezra Sherman Go Team Ezra!

We feel so honored that Ezra was selected as the 2010 Big Climb Honoree!

69 Flights of Stairs

1, 311 Steps

788 feet of Vertical Elevation

Climb the Columbia Tower - Seattle's Tallest Building

Are you up for the challenge? Please join Team Ezra to help us raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. To find out more about the Big Climb, visit www.bigclimb.org

Our family had a great experience participating in the Big Climb earlier this year and we all felt like it was a wonderful way to honor Ezra and to raise money for Leukemia research, as well as other blood cancer research, and also to financially help patients and families currently dealing with these diseases. We encourage all to join us - kids, adults, everyone. Don't be afraid of the climb, you can do it! Many of the 5th graders completed the climb in about 15 minutes or even less! And most of the adults were not far behind. You may sign up to walk or run up the stairs - your choice.

We Hope You Will Join Us!

Ezra Remembered

So once a year at our church the children, aged 3 to 12, put on the service for the congregation. As you can imagine, it is pretty sweet and everyone looks forward to it all year. This year of course was bittersweet, watching Milo give a talk - of course he did great, but it was the first time Ezra did not stand up to participate.

One of Ezra's past teachers, Tyler, shared some thoughts about Ezra. Tyler was Ezra and Milo's primary teacher (like sunday school) a few years back. He and his wife Stacy taught the boys in their primary class for two years and have remained close friends with our family. Tyler's remarks were beautiful and when I asked if I could share them on the blog he consented. So here they are...

"We would be remiss not to acknowledge that the primary program today proceeds without an incredibly important member. Ezra Sherman and the Sherman Family have been long time members of this ward - he and his siblings have grown up through our nursery and primary, and his parents have been constants here for the last 17 years. Ezra was an irreplaceable part of our primary and for many years blessed us with his incredible goodwill, tender spirit, and exuberance for life. As everyone knows, earlier this year he returned to our Heavenly Father , and this is the first time in many years that he is not a part of today's program.

It would be impossible to capture what he meant to all of us in a few short words, but we wanted to in some way honor his memory. I think the best way to do this is to recognize that he lives on. He lives on in his brother, in his sister, in his parents, and in all of us who were lucky enough to have been touched by his life. He also lives on in the things he loved and the passions he enjoyed in life.

One such passion was the Beatles. Ezra was a big fan - we had that in common - and when I hear the Beatles, I always think of him. There is a moment in the album Abbey Road that for me captures the emotions one experiences in difficult times. At the end of the song, "She's So Heavy," there are several minutes of swirling, disorienting noise. This noise starts in the background, but slowly builds, much in the way that you might picture a gathering storm. At the point when this musical storm feels as if it has reached it's peak, it instantaneously cuts off and immediately cuts off and immediately proceeds into the next song - the melodic and uplifting tune, "Here Comes the Sun," with George Harrison singing that reassuring refrain, "here comes the sun, it's alright."

In the scriptures, the sun is symbolic of numerous things and in many instances it represents Christ. In the Doctrine and Covenants, section 88:7 reads: "Which truth shineth. This is the light of Christ. As also he is in the sun and the light of the sun, and the power thereof, by which it was made." During our stormiest times, it is Him that emerges through the clouds and warms us with His glory, reminding us that through His saving power, "it's alright." As the living Savior of all, He assures us that our time on earth is not the end, but merely the beginning. In the words of the oft quoted scripture, in the book of John, "whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:15)

Through His triumphant resurrection, He makes it possible for us to live again in the presence of the Father. It is through our belief and testimony of Christ, that we can look forward to seeing our friend Ezra again someday."

So thank you Tyler, for your thoughtful words, they were greatly appreciated and sweet to our ears. Although I wish nothing more than to have Ezra in my arms and at my side - right now, I know that he is alright. I know that I will see him again and that he will always be my boy. I have faith that we will be reunited when this life on earth is over and I look forward to that day. That is what I believe. Even in my pain and deep sorrow of missing Ezra, I still have faith in these things. And it is this faith that keeps me going each day.

Photos shown: top - Ezra, of course, age 8. Below - Tyler and Stacy with Milo, age 9 (yellow, a wickersham brother), Luka, age 10 - (Yertyl the Turtle), and Ezra, age 9 - (Mayor of Whoville). Performing in Broadway Bound's production of Seussical the Musical at the ACT Theater in Seattle.

Halloween Memories

The conversation in our home during October has always been about - Halloween Costumes. The kids have always loved to plan their costumes, gather materials, and make something creative. Sometimes there was a theme, sometimes not. For weeks this subject would be discussed. They even had to worry about what the dog would dress like.

In any case, in honor of Ezra, here are some photos to share as we approach Halloween 2009. When I look at these I remember Ezra's creativity, humor, self confidence, passion, and joie de vivre - Ezra had fun doing everything, he truly loved life. He taught me so much, even through something as silly as dressing up for Halloween. Amazing Ezra, here's to you.

Photos: Ezra as an Oompa Loompa (Milo as Groucho Marx) - 3rd grade. The White Rabbit from Alice and Wonderland - Ryan made that nose through a complicated and scary (for me) process that involved taking a mold of Ezra's face which required him to breath out of straws stuffed up his nose for about 20 minutes while it set. I still shiver. Milo was one of the Queen of Heart's cards that was 4th grade. And last year: Tweedle Dee. All the kids got in on the Alice in Wonderland theme last year. Milo was the Dormouse. Luka was the Mad Hatter.

A New School Year Begins

Excitement and sadness have been in the air of our home this week. As we prepared for the start of a new school year, the excitement built for Milo and Luka, especially for Milo as he is starting a new school this year - middle school!
But of course this excitement is accompanied by our deepest sorrow that Ezra is not starting school this fall. He always loved school so much and looked forward to each new year with great anticipation.

Losing a child causes you to miss that child so desperately - all the time - every day, every second. But certain times are somehow even more painful than others, like a missed birthday, or a graduation, or a summer vacation or the start of a new school year.

Ezra didn't get to go with us to get new school supplies this year and that was sad. We missed him so much. We remembered him running around the store last year, filling our cart with everything from his school list, talking excitedly about what supplies he needed, explaining what pencils he thought were the best, and of course, playing with Milo. Ezra didn't need a new pair of shoes. Ezra didn't try on any of the clothes in the closet to see what fit and what didn't. Milo did that for me and when he tried on some of the things Ezra always wore it took my breath away - he looked so much like Ezra. Ezra didn't get to go to the orientation for new students, etc. So there is lots of sadness intertwined with the excitement and happiness that two of my children are now experiencing.

And so the new school year begins for Luka and Milo and millions of other children and students. I hope everyone is able to enjoy the new school year... The little things, like a new class list, new books and supplies, new pencils, new clothes, and maybe even new shoes. And the bigger things, like a new school, new teachers, new friends and new opportunities. And the biggest thing, LIFE. Hope everyone can enjoy and appreciate being alive this fall.

Photos shown: Milo and Luka posing with Ezra's tiny woodland friends this summer - who accompanied us everywhere we went this summer. And Milo and Ezra on the first day of 4th grade - 2 years ago.