Excitement and sadness have been in the air of our home this week. As we prepared for the start of a new school year, the excitement built for Milo and Luka, especially for Milo as he is starting a new school this year - middle school!But of course this excitement is accompanied by our deepest sorrow that Ezra is not starting school this fall. He always loved school so much and looked forward to each new year with great anticipation.
Losing a child causes you to miss that child so desperately - all the time - every day, every second. But certain times are somehow even more painful than others, like a missed birthday, or a graduation, or a summer vacation or the start of a new school year.
Ezra didn't get to go with us to get new school supplies this year and that was sad. We missed him so much. We remembered him running around the store last year, filling our cart with everything from his school list, talking excitedly about what supplies he needed, explaining what pencils he thought were the best, and of course, playing with Milo. Ezra didn't need a new pair of shoes. Ezra didn't try on any of the clothes in the closet to see what fit and what didn't. Milo did that for me and when he tried on some of the things Ezra always wore it took my breath away - he looked so much like Ezra. Ezra didn't get to go to the orientation for new students, etc. So there is lots of sadness intertwined with the excitement and happiness that two of my children are now experiencing.
And so the new school year begins for Luka and Milo and millions of other children and students. I hope everyone is able to enjoy the new school year... The little things, like a new class list, new books and supplies, new pencils, new clothes, and maybe even new shoes. And the bigger things, like a new school, new teachers, new friends and new opportunities. And the biggest thing, LIFE. Hope everyone can enjoy and appreciate being alive this fall.
Photos shown: Milo and Luka posing with Ezra's tiny woodland friends this summer - who accompanied us everywhere we went this summer. And Milo and Ezra on the first day of 4th grade - 2 years ago.
